Evocative, no? You will be forgiven for not believing that this and the two-score-and-four other literary travesties compiled to demonstrate "why English teachers die young" were actually written by clueless high school students.
Circulating on the Internet since 1999, the list was in fact culled from hundreds of reader submissions to a long-running contest in the Washington Post.
My personal favorite: "The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work."