As told by Chris Patterson...

A newly-wed couple were at their reception – the DJ was playing "Mr & Mrs." If you're not in the know, "Mr and Mrs" was a British TV game where one partner was asked questions about the other whilst they were out of earshot, and then the question was repeated to see if their answers matched.

The DJ was asking the groom all sorts of questions such as "Which side of the bed does she sleep?" and "What's her most disgusting habit?" when he came to the final question: "Where's the strangest place you've ever had sex?"

The groom started by laughingly replying that he had no intention of answering, until eventually, egged on by the baying audience, he replied:

"In the back of my car."

A huge roar of approval went up as the bride was led back into the room, to give her replies to the questions. The DJ went through all the questions again until finally he got to the last: "Where's the strangest place you've ever had sex?"

The bride started shaking her head and muttering "No way" as the crowd began to bay for a reply. Even the grannies and the old aunts were getting involved, pleading for the answer. Eventually the groom came over and gently took her by the arm saying "It's okay, honey, I told them."

"You're sure?" she asked, nervously.

"Of course, darling, I'm sure," he replied.

"Okay," she said. "If you're sure."

Then slowly, holding the microphone close to her chest, the bride announced to all their assembled relatives and friends:

"Up the bottom."

– Chris Patterson

Guide's note:  Some American readers may find this story quite familiar, yet strangely different from the version they remember. That's because it's a thoroughly British variant of an apocryphal tale widely told in the U.S. about a game show called The Newlywed Game.

Predictably, the American version is a bit less polite. The question asked by the host (Bob Eubanks) is usually rendered as: "Where's the most unusual place you've ever made whoopee with your wife?" The contestant's answer: "Up the butt, Bob."

For the complete American version with commentary by David Mikkelson, see "Up the Butt, Bob" from the Urban Legends Reference Pages.

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