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Bill Gates Is the Antichrist - Analysis

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NOT LONG after I posted this specimen of apocalyptic lunacy — which, it seemed to me, barely even deserved a serious debunking — faithful reader Martin Hagstrom wrote to take me to task for saying so little about it:

In your article "Bill Gates is the Antichrist", it is stated that "WINDOWS 95" is 666 in ASCII. The real value is 665:

W = 87
I = 73
N = 78
D = 68
O = 79
W = 87
S = 83
9 = 57
5 = 53

...and I don't follow "the same procedure" mentioned in the email (counting 95 as 95), which would give an even lower result. You probably knew all that already, but in my opinion you should say so in your comments at the end of the article. When you don't comment it, your readers are bound to believe it's unchallenged and therefore true.

Regards, Martin Hagstrøm

M = 77
A = 65
R = 82
T = 84
I = 73
N = 78
H = 72
A = 65
G = 71
667 (damn close, again)

Thanks, Martin. Actually, the problem you point out has been fixed in later versions of the text — with no attempt to explain or justify it, mind you — by the addition of a "1" to the numerological calculations above. It's just that simple to make numerology work for you!

To tell you the truth, I gave up on the document as soon as I came upon this statement:

One way to write WWW is V/ (VI)
V/ V/ V/
666 ... Something to ponder upon, right?

I found it so not worth "pondering upon," and so disheartening, in fact, that I never got around to checking the math. Mea culpa.

Anyway, I prefer anagrams to numerology. Did you know that "WILLIAM GATES" is an anagram for "I SWIG MALT ALE?" True!! Something to ponder upon, right?

Satanic Easter egg?

For the record, there actually was a "Hall of Tortured Souls" hidden in that older version of Microsoft Excel mentioned in the email. But it was neither a Satanic message nor a cry for salvation from wage-slaves of Bill Gates. It's a harmless "Easter egg" created by Microsoft programmers who designed the software and wanted to sneak themselves a little credit — a very common practice in the industry.

Apparently, the "something really eerie" you would find if you made it all the way through the set of instructions was a photo gallery of the programmers themselves.

Scary in its own right, perhaps, but no cause to conclude the apocalypse is at hand.

See also:

Barack Obama Is the Antichrist
2008 email rumor claimed charismatic U.S. presidential candidate Barack Obama is the Antichrist prophesied in the New Testament.

Recommended reading:

Have a Nice Millennium!
Reader responses and more 666 lore

Bill Gates has $1000 (and a virus) just for you!
Is the Antichrist giving away money? Yes! (It's all part of the plan)

Last updated: 02/03/12

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