| Bill Gates Has $1,000 (and a Virus) Just for You! | |
| Part 3: I Am Happy to Report... | |
Meanwhile, a freshly-minted companion message had begun circulating in mid-December. This was the pièce de résistance, a clever and fitting capper for a prank that had already inspired too much credulity among Internet users:
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OFFICE OF THE CHIEF EXECUTIVE **ATTENTION** Thanks for your help in compiling the "email database." I am happy to report that the 1000 participant threshold was broken on December 2nd, 1997 with a final push from the Boston area. You and everyone else you forwarded that email to have just qualified for our $1000 COMPENSATION prize !! To claim your prize, simply respond to this email with your credit card number and expiration date and I will have someone from my office credit your account with the $1000.00 winnings. With Warmest Regards, Bill Gates ********* LEGAL DISCLAIMER: The Microsoft Corporation makes no claim and takes no responsibility for any damage that shall be caused by the EEVP (embedded executable virus program) which is now resident in the virtual memory of most if not all of the participants of the Late '97 E-Contest. The E-contest was actually a testbed for a new product we are developing called "V-TRACE98 v2.04". Within the past few months specialists in our VMTF(Virus Management Testbed Facility) accidentally discovered several new strains of EEVPs which cause particularly devastation to Netscape Communicator 4.0 software. VT98 is being marketed at network administrators (a consumer product is in development) as a virus tool to trace a new strain of embedded executable email viruses back to their original source and "extinguish the threat" by cleansing the network and all client machines of all EEVP viruses and all Netscape communications software. VT98 2.04 then refreshes the clients with Microsoft Internet Explorer 4.5 (our latest release which has just been developed to combat EEVPs and other Netscape and Sun Microsystems JAVA software security weaknesses). Early estimates placed the trace limitation of such a program at 672 users. In actuality, we were able to trace the spread of the EEVP message back through 994 participants to our MSVSS (Microsoft Virus Seed Server) at the Microsoft VMTF here in Redmond. The E-contest virus distribution vehicle was quite successful! And so, we offer this generous COMPENSATION prize to our 1000 willing participants to address the effects of this new strain of EEVP. We hope that $1000.00 will be enough to cover the certain loss of most of the files on your hard drive(we valued at $257), not to mention the time and anguish (we valued at $43), and the general pain and suffering (valued at $93). This leaves you with exactly $607.00 which we expect you will most likely want to spend on a copy of our new program "E-SPAM BARRIER 98 v1.0" to prevent receiving our e-contest testbed messages in the future (priced at $597). Lastly, we thought we should leave you for a couple of stiff drinks (priced at $9 or $10). Happy Holidays! |
It was brilliant, drenched in irony: a bogus virus alert, a "get something for nothing" chain letter and a tongue-in-cheek "bank scam" all rolled into one ornate meta-hoax.
I'm tempted to call it a work of art, but that would be to gloss over the fact that some Internet users still haven't gotten the joke, or the point.
I've received messages from some of them, asking how they can "get rid of the virus."
There is no virus... just as there's no email tracking program, no $1,000 giveaway, no free Windows '98. It's all hooey, and you don't have to be exceptionally Net-savvy to figure that out. Read carefully and pause for a nanosecond's thought before pressing that forward button, and it ought to dawn on any rational human being that someone's pulling their leg.
That's the point.
Further Adventures in Email Tracking
In mid-February, the concept of email tracking showed up in a chain letter purporting to originate from Nike Inc., the sports apparel manufacturer. The premise of the message was that Nike would give away gift certificates to participants in a contest designed to help Microsoft test its new email tracking software. It's enjoyed a limited circulation in comparison to the Gates hoax, but caused Nike enough headaches to prompt statements in the press. (See Nike Contest Hoax, 02/25/98.)
In April, a message went into circulation warning of a "hacker riot" scheduled for June first on America Online. Recipients of the alert were directed to forward it to ten other people or risk having their AOL accounts cancelled by the hackers – who, the text claimed, would be able to track who had forwarded the message and who had not. This hoax frightened enough AOL members to cause AOL to issue a statement reassuring them that their email could not be traced. (See AOL Riot Warning, 04/29/98.)
In mid-August, a brand-new variant of the Bill Gates $1,000 chain letter flared up, this time purporting to originate from a "Walt Disney Jr." According to the new version, the Disney company will award cash prizes and trips to Disney World to the first 13,000 people who forward it to everyone they know. Most of the text is simply cut-and-pasted from the original Gates version, including the infamous bad grammar. It's a hoax, of course, for all the familiar reasons; not to mention the fact that there is no Walt Disney Jr. (See Disney's 'Email Tracking' Giveaway, 08/24/98.)
Whether or not email tracking on this scale ever becomes a reality, the concept appears to have already established itself as a staple of Internet folklore.
A thousand bucks and a free copy of Windows '98 says we ain't heard the last of it.
See also:
Bill Gates Is the Antichrist!
It all adds up... to 666
