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Suzy DeLucci and the Miracle of Life - Analysis


I am humbled to admit that the wretched narrative you have just read reminds me of some of my own early efforts at creative writing, for which I was duly ejected from sixth grade. Regrettably, there'll be no trip to the principal's office for this anonymous email author, who requires, at the very least, remedial instruction in human anatomy and biology.

Could ocean-dwelling "mud shrimp" conceivably incubate and then hatch in a woman's vagina? No, not a chance. Not unless she had ice-cold salt water coursing through her veins. Anyway, lobsters have nothing to do with mud shrimp - they don't eat them, they don't give birth to them, they don't hang out together. The story is completely implausible.

I have no idea where this silliness originated, but during one five-day period alone I received copies of it from England, Canada, and the U.S.A. It clearly has international appeal. Conceptually, it bears some resemblance to the equally offensive Richard Gere "gerbilling" rumor, complete with the specious implication that inserting unlikely objects into body orifices is a preoccupation of homosexuals alone.

Although three different renderings of the victim's name, "Susan DeLucci," crop up in the text, it remains reminiscent of the name of a well known U.S. television actress whose fame the author of this piece probably hoped to exploit.

The story also boasts elements common to most "infestation" legends, for example the recent tale about people ingesting cockroach eggs at Taco Bell restaurants and hatching insects in their mouths. Ugh.


Further reading:

Lesbian Lobsters
Sex columnist Dan Savage debunks the Internet hoax


Current Hoaxes / Netlore
The Urban Legends Top 25


From David Emery,
Your Guide to Urban Legends.
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