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Please Don't Intoxicate the Animals

As told by Genn Perdin (Sweden), 05/19/00...

This is one that I heard from a work mate here in Sweden, who said that this absolutely happened to a friend of his. When I later told my husband the story, he laughed and asked me where I have been that I haven't heard that one before...

The "friend" of my colleague had just bought a brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee, complete with sunroof and all the trimmings, and decided to go on vacation to Denmark with a group of friends. The gang, being of the partying sort, buy liquor and beer to supply them for the trip.

While on their trip, they decided to visit a safari park where you drive through in your own car. At the entrance to the park, and indeed all through the park, there were signs reminding patrons that the animals in the park are wild and that all windows must remain rolled up at all times. But it was hot that day, and the guy's friends had been drinking a good deal of beer, so everyone decided that they could have the sunroof open and leave the windows closed.

The group drives on through the park, drinking and blasting the stereo, when a giraffe takes notice and starts to move toward them. Cool, they thought, and they stop the vehicle and watch to see what the beast will do.

Curious, the giraffe approaches them and one guy decides to entice the animal with one of the beers that they have by holding it out the sunroof. This really gets the beast's attention and he comes running up to the car and starts drinking the beer that is being poured onto the roof for the giraffe to lap up.

It is at this point that the animal decides to peek in to see if there is any more of that delicious liquid and before they can get the beer in and close the sunroof, the giraffe has his head all the way in the car and is looking for more beer. Terrified, the driver pushes the button for the sunroof to close, effectively putting the animal's neck in a vice grip, whereupon the animal panics and vomits repeatedly. When park officials arrive, they are able to get the giraffe unstuck, and invite our travelers to leave the park and never return.

Unable to find a place to clean the car and their belongings on a weekend, the group decides to take the next ferry back to Sweden. Of course, upon entering the country, the boarder guards become suspicious of the young men and search the vehicle, finding of course more than the legal limit of alcohol for transportation across the boarder (they hadn't had time to drink up what they had bought for the weekend) and charge them with fines and duties for the offense.

– Genn Perdin


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