According to my sources, whom I cannot reveal or else our very way of life would forever be altered, below is an outline of the final episode of Seinfeld. If you don't want to ruin it, then don't read...but you will anyway. You just can't help yourself. It's human nature.

Scene 1: Jerry's kitchen

    Jerry discusses a career move with Elaine and George. A California agent is offering a variery TV show, guest appearances, a huge home in Beverly Hills and plenty of young starlets and models to escort him to parties. The catch? Jerry must move to the West Coast. He decides to go and Elaine and George, having nothing better to do, decide to accompany him and help pick out a house.

Scene 2: A Beverly Hills mansion

    A charming, handsome real estate broker is showing Jerry, Elaine and George the home. Elaine is enthralled with the gentleman and after determining he is divorced AND wealthy, makes her moves while Jerry tries to get details about the house.

Scene 3: Hotel bar

    Jerry, Elaine and George are celebrating Jerry's decision to buy the mansion and Jerry is convinced gorgeous women are already giving him the eye. Elaine announces she has a date with the broker and has good feelings he could be "the one." George, feeling left out, decides to go off by himself.

Scene 4: Jerry's hotel room

    Jerry is awakened by pounding on his door. It is George and he is beside himself with excitement. Seems he met a big newspaper executive who was also a huge Yankees' fan. When George told him he was way up in the Yankee organization (George wasn't completely honest about his departure) the man offered him a terrific position at the newspaper as a TV critic. The downside? George has to watch a great deal of TV. George: "The DOWNSIDE, Jerry, the DOWNSIDE! This is it Jerrry! My dream come true!"

Scene 5: Hotel restaurant

    Jerry and George meet Elaine for breakfast where spirits are high. George decides he needs a house, too so Elaine suggests her new love. Jerry hints how he and George will miss her. Elaine smirks and says, "Maybe not!" Seems her new man wants her to come and spend time at his house and do nothing but enjoy herself for awhile. Of course she said yes. Elaine: "His so called HOUSE is bigger than JFK JR'S!"

Scene 6: Jerry's New York apartment which is mostly empty

    Jerry and George are having a last look around when Kramer comes sliding in and starts looking around. Jerry and George are feeling a little guilty about leaving Kramer but Kramer only seems interested in what Jerry's leaving and can he have it? He tells them not to worry because Kramer is a "New York State of Mind" kind of guy. (Not sure, but the Billy Joel song may tie in.)

A Short Series of Scenes without dialogue:

    ~Jerry at an exclusive restaurant with a gorgeous blonde.
    ~Elaine by the pool being served by a maid.
    ~George in a sweatsuit watching TV.
    ~Jerry buying a cadillac with visions of Uncle Leo being envious.
    ~Elaine getting a facial, pedicure and manicure at the same time.
    ~George in a robe watching TV.
    ~Jerry getting out of a limo with a gorgeous redhead.
    ~Elaine, with an assistant carrying bags, entering Gucci's.
    ~George in his underwear watching TV.
    ~Jerry,with a beautiful brunette, being surrounded by autograph seekers at his parents' retirement community while his proud parents look on.
    ~Elaine and her man being served gourmet food in their elegant dining room.
    ~George, presumably naked, watching TV.

Scene 7: A very upscale coffee shop

    Jerry, Elaine and George, all well-dressed and tan are having coffee surrounded by "beautiful" people but there is a certain familiarity about the scene. George is discussing his parents. He is worried about them and they keep calling him - COLLECT! He claims he doesn't miss them but Jerry suspects otherwise. Elaine brings up the fact that there is a small guest house behind George's new home and why not fix it up and let them live there? That way they would be close but not TOO close. She snidely adds,"Just be sure to keep your windows covered, George, you don't want your mom to see you AGAIN!" George, feeling empowered, agrees.

Scene 8: Jerry's new kitchen

    George is asking Jerry and Elaine if they want to go with him to shop for a new robe and slippers. All his TV viewing is wearing them out pretty quickly and he may have to get a clothing allowance. Elaine says she is sure Mr. Right is going to pop the question soon and Jerry is deciding which supermodel to take to a premiere when there is a knock on the door. As Jerry heads to the door, Elaine remarks, "You still answer your own door, you just don't get it do you?" When Kramer comes bursting in. All three are shocked when Jerry says "What are you doing here?" Kramer grins and says,"Doing here? I live here! Right across the street, buddy!" (Yes, astute viewers will have noticed the For Sale sign on the house earlier in the episode.) Seems an NBC executive saw an old clip of Kramer on Murphy Brown and looked Kramer up for his own sitcom. With a sure smile Kramer says "NBC has an opening on Thursday night. If I'm not "must see TV" no one is!" Jerry reminds him he has a "New York State of Mind" but Kramer just says, "I still do ,Jerry, but now I'm "Bicoastal!"

Final Scene: Jerry's kitchen

    Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer are hanging out when the conversation turns to how lucky they all are. Each has achieved what they desired most. Then they realize each has no particular plans for the evening and how about a movie? Of course, there is the usual squabbling until they pick the theater and time. All is really the same.

Closing credits: Jerry's California street