Thank God It's Doomsday
Doomsday sayers aren't standing on street corners proclaiming the end of time. Instead they've all gone on the Internet.– Ted Daniels, Millenium Watch
Dateline: 05/03/00
As I write this, it's D (for doomsday) minus two days and counting. According to prophets of doom, the world will end on May 5, 2000 when a rare planetary alignment wreaks earthly havoc in the form of storms, earthquakes, tidal waves, sun flares and, in the worst-case scenario, a stock market crash.
What exactly is a planetary alignment? In theory, it's when several planets in our solar system queue up in a straight line perpendicular to the sun for a brief moment in time. In actual doomsaying practice, it's any time some of the planets are grouped closely enough together to make a big fuss over it.
The May 5 alignment, as can be seen by connecting the dots in Sky & Telescope magazine's handy diagram, constitutes anything but a straight line (one reason scientists prefer the terms "grouping" and "massing"). But it's close enough for Armageddon. Some people are predicting that the gravitational force exerted by all of the planets massed so closely together will bring an end to life on earth as we know it.
Who are the doomsayers? A wacky assemblage of astrologers, cultists, Bible "decoders" and pseudoscientists – some of whom just happen to sell survival gear on the side. Here's a sampling:
- Rus Logush, Astrologer
"According to this correlation, we can again expect events such as major wars, and unusual natural disasters. Any of the political hot spots, such as the Balkans, Russia, Middle East, India/Pakistan, N/S Korea may escalate to crisis levels. Earthquakes may devastate major industrial centers. There could be a global economic shake-up." - Richard Noone, Author
Review of Noone's 5/5/2000 Ice: The Ultimate Disaster: "In it, the author contends that on May 5, 2000, this planet Earth (and its Moon) will be alone on one side of the Sun and will be aligned with Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn, which will be on the opposite side of the Sun, in a straight line and that this alignment will cause the three mile high Antarctic ice cap to slip into the world's ocean and initiate a recurring global disaster." - AlpineAire, Purveyor of Emergency Supplies
"Alpine Survival Group strongly believes that Martial Law is being implemented systematically nationwide because of the anomalous increase in global civil unrest, a startling increase in natural disasters, flooding, earthquakes, volcanoes and hurricanes crippling the nation's emergency supplies. We have OPEC uncertainties, a critically unstable stock market and increasing probability of bank failures that are all sending a very loud signal that we have already entered into an exponential state of national disaster." - Sterling Allan, "Bible Code" Interpreter
"In this case, the number 55, as in May 5, was the hot number. Using that number, he came up with the following collection of words: 'celestial, harmonics, foretold, darkness, smoke, blackness, tempest, gloom, chaff, tares, winnowing, smoke which lifts itself up in dense volume, mother earth, changes.'" - The Adelphi Organization
"Dormant volcanoes will burst forth and a host of new ones will join them. Great tidal waves will roll across the land, new mountain ranges will be thrust up, and howling winds will rage generating choking clouds of dust. This all takes place during a three-day worldwide earthquake against which nothing will stand. But a tenth of mankind will survive to rebuild as people have done many times in the past."
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