| My Mother-in-Law Swears It's True! | ||||||||||
| Part 2: Clearly, Mr. Murphy needs psychiatric help | ||||||||||
I found the article about the "black guys in the elevator" stories funny, because my mother-in-law (who is now deceased)
used to
go to Las Vegas once or twice a year to gamble at the slot machines.
She told me that once when she was riding up to her room to
rest
there were three black men in the car with her. My mother-in-law was 5'1 and
about 98
pounds and also very personable, had uncountable friends. But she
was a
little taken aback about being in the elevator with them because they
were
so black and so large.
I don't remember the gist of what happened
while she
was in the elevator, but she did tell me that they sent a bottle of
spirits
to her room. My mother-in-law did not appear to be lying about the episode, so
I
believed her.
Probably Eddie Murphy thinks it's a big hoot to scare little
old
white ladies in elevators and then send them a treat – for it was
Eddie
Murphy who sent her the spirits.
Clearly, Mr. Murphy needs psychiatric help. Evidence is mounting to prove he's addicted to scaring white ladies in elevators.
I wonder how funny he'd think that is on Thorazine.
I heard this tale about 12 or so years ago, but instead of Eddie Murphy, the person was Richard Pryor!
Just as I suspected – these are copycat crimes. Or possibly even a vast black male conspiracy!
The one I heard, it was Will Smith, and instead of sending up flowers, he payed the bill for the woman, with a message saying, "Thanks for the best laugh I've ever had." The person I heard it from swears it happened to her relative.
Well, you can't blame Will Smith for emulating talented guys like Eddie Murphy and Richard Pryor – though you'd think he'd at least go to the trouble of changing the punchline. Anyway, that's beside the point. A pattern has emerged. I'm calling Oliver Stone.
Wasn't this same story circulated a few years ago, only instead of Eddie Murphy, it was Lionel Ritchie?
Wouldn't surprise me. Nothing would, at this point – unless you're going to tell me Gary Coleman has gotten away with this too.
I've heard a very similar story in many different places and from different sources. This version involved Reggie Jackson. Reggie takes his dog on the elevator and commands the dog to sit, and the old ladies promptly sit down.
Stop! I can't take any more!
The first time I heard a version of this story – probably 15-20 years ago – it involved a group of Americans being given a tour of the Houses of Parliament in England. One of the Lords, in full regalia, emerged from a room and, seeing a friend across the hall on the other side of the tourists, called to him in a commanding voice, "Neill!" – which the tourists promptly did. I don't recall that the Lord offered any recompense other than profuse apologies.
There are large black men in the House of Lords? Live and learn! |
||||||||||
Explore Urban Legends