Party Like It's 1996!

Two thousand zero zero, party over, oops, out of time.
Tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999.

– Prince  (currently known as the artist formerly known as Prince)

By David Emery

Here's my one and only, long-awaited (by my editor, if no one else) New Year's prediction, which I offer with a grain of salt and only a modest fear of being proven wrong.

Prediction: at every New Year's Eve party this December 31st there will be at least one smug know-it-all insisting that we're celebrating the dawn of the New Millennium one year too early. They will argue as follows:

"Since the millennia are measured from the birth of Jesus Christ in the year 1 A.D., the first thousand-year interval wasn't over until the end of the year 1000 and the second thousand-year interval won't be over until the end of the year 2000. Hence, the New Millennium doesn't really begin until January 1, 2001."

And, as if the pompous verbiage weren't annoying enough, they'll be right.

Intuitively, 2000 – nice, round number that it is – feels like it ought to mark the start of the millennium, but in truth it does not.

Blame it on the Romans, who bequeathed us the Gregorian calendar which skipped directly from the year 1 B.C. to 1 A.D. There was no "Year Zero," thus the counting began with "1" and the First Millennium wasn't history until the calendar flipped from 1000 to 1001. It'll be the same with the Second.

With history, mathematics, and the Royal Observatory all on their side, the millennial grinches would appear to have an air-tight case.

There are, however, a couple of loopholes. (Note: whatever the following arguments lack in soundness may be more than compensated for by an extra glass of champagne.)

1. For U.S. citizens only... Unlike Great Britain, the United States does not have an official, state-mandated calendar. Therefore, if you are a citizen of that great country, you can lay claim to your inalienable right to calendrical freedom and celebrate the start of the Third Millennium whenever you damned well please!
2. The consensus among historians is that Jesus Christ was not actually born in the year 1 A.D. (as assumed by the designers of the Gregorian calendar), but rather in 4 B.C.  Therefore, reckoning from the actual birthdate of Christ, the Third Millennium began on January 1st, 1997 and the celebration is 3 years overdue!

If all else fails, simply declare that you plan on ringing in the New Millennium all year long. Tell your millennial grinch that as far as you're concerned this weekend's party is just the first of 366 days (extra points for remembering that 2000 is a leap year!) of non-stop celebrating. Then tip your cardboard party hat, jump back out on the dance floor, and have yourself a good time.

So what if Y2K isn't all it's cracked up to be? Party like it's 1996!

Sources:

As the Century Turns
U.S. News and World Report takes a shot at the "purists"

When DOES the New MMI-llennium Begin?
Janet Burns is a millennial grinch... but a funny one

Zero
Delightful 1997 article from The Atlantic Monthly

Current Net Hoaxes
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