Circulating online, a 'presidential platform' attributed to purported write-in candidate Bill Cosby. (Yes, that Bill Cosby.)
Description: Email joke / Hoax
Circulating since: July 2008
Status: Falsely attributed to Bill Cosby
Example #1:
Email contributed by Fred, Sep. 13, 2010:
Subject: 2012 PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE
AMERICA NEEDS A CANDIDATE WITH THIS PLATFORM!!
I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT IN THE YEAR 2012.. HERE IS MY PLATFORM:
(1). Any use of the phrase: 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait outside of our borders until you can.
(2). We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country. America will allow NO imports, and we'll do no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.' We'll make it here and sell it here!
(3). When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it coming in here.
(4). All retired military personnel will be required to man one of the many observation towers located on the southern border of the United States (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.
(5). Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. Neither the President nor any other politician will be able to touch it.
(6). Welfare. -- Checks will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40 hour school week, the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs, and passing grades.
(7). Professional Athletes -- Steroids? The FIRST time you check positive you're banned from sports .... for life.
(8). Crime -- We will adopt the Turkish method, i.e., the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more 'life sentences'. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for the victim you killed: gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
(9). One export of ours will be allowed: wheat; because the world needs to eat. However, a bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
(10). All foreign aid, using American taxpayer money, will immediately cease and the saved money will help to pay off the national debt and, ultimately, lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask The American People if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision as to whether, or not, it's a worthy cause.
(11). The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.
(12). The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.
My apology is offered if I've stepped on anyone's toes ...... nevertheless....
GOD BLESS AMERICA !
Sincerely, Bill Cosby
Please forward this to everyone you know, no matter which side of the fence they're on.
Here is a candidate & platform that ALL of us can support!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Example #2:
Email contributed by Carri W., Aug. 11, 2008:
Bill Cosby for President (is this true)
I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE. HERE IS MY PLATFORM:
(1) Press 1 for English is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.
(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the 'Walmart' policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'
(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.
(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.
(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. The president nor any other politician will not be able to touch it.
(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.
(7) Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.
(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more life sentences. If convicted, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
(9) One export will be allowed; Wheat, The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.
(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.
(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.
Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes but a vote for me will get you better than what you have, and better than what you're gonna get. Thanks for listening, and remember to write in my name on the ballot in November.
God Bless America !!!!!!!!!!!
Bill Cosby
Analysis: Falsely attributed to actor/comedian Bill Cosby. The celebrated African-American entertainer has been known to speak forthrightly on a range of touchy social and political issues, including race relations and the need, as he sees it, for black people to concentrate on bettering themselves instead of blaming their problems on others. Bill Cosby did not write the above piece, however, which not only focuses on matters he doesn't typically address, but surely misrepresents his views as well.
Moreover, Mr. Cosby has expressed neither the interest nor the intent to run for President.
The true author of the text, which first appeared online in June 2008 and circulated anonymously (example) until Cosby's name was attached to it a few weeks later, remains unknown.
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Last updated: 10/03/11
