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Dubious Quotes

Amazing, isn't it, how often we find that famous people never really said some of the clever, funny, shocking, and horrid things attributed to them!

Al Gore vs. Christianity
Alleged quotation from a book written by Al Gore derides Christians as "a blight on the environment."

Albert Einstein Proves the Existence of God
In this emailed anecdote by an unknown author, a university student named Albert Einstein humiliates his atheist professor by proving that God exists.

Andy Rooney on Prayer
Viral op-ed piece attributed to Andy Rooney defends Christian prayers at public events: 'I don't think a short prayer at a football game is going to shake the world's foundations.'

Barack Obama: 'I've Visited 57 States'
Partly true: Forwarded email quotes a campaign-weary Barack Obama saying he has campaigned (or plans to campaign) in 'all 57 states.' Lo and behold, allegedly, it turns out there are 57 Islamic states.

Ben Stein: Christmas Confessions
Circulating via email, a commentary on the state of American culture attributed to author and game show host Ben Stein.

Brad Pitt About His Wife
Purportedly written by Brad Pitt, a viral essay extolling the "secret of love," namely that given enough hugs, kisses, and compliments a woman will blossom and become "the reflection of her man."

Caesar: 'Beware the Leader Who Bangs the Drums of War...'
Caesar didn't say it, Shakespeare didn't write it, but everyone's quoting it -- a passage allegedly summarizing Julius Caesar's true opinion of warmongering heads of state.

Charlie Daniels: Open Letter to the Hollywood Bunch
Circulating by email: Acrimonious open letter to antiwar celebrities penned by prowar celebrity Charlie Daniels. It's authentic.

Colin Powell on U.S. 'Empire Building'
Alleged response from U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell to alleged challenge on American "empire building" from the Archbishop of Canterbury.

Dame Edna Insults Hispanics
Email petition decries ethnically insensitive remarks about Hispanics in a satirical Vanity Fair column called "Ask Dame Edna."

David Letterman on 'Spoiled' Americans
Article attributed to late-night talk show host David Letterman labels the majority of Americans "ungrateful, spoiled brats" for saying they're unhappy with the current direction of the country.

Don Rickles Roasts Democrats
Circulating via email, a comedy bit attributed to Don Rickles roasting well-known Democrats Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Barack Obama, and others.

Email Memorializes Darrell 'Shifty' Powers
Email tribute to Darrell "Shifty" Powers, World War II hero and member of the "Band of Brothers" made famous by the Stephen Ambrose book and HBO miniseries of the same title. He died on June 17, 2009.

Excerpts from a DC Airline Ticket Agent
Circulating via email, a collection of idiotic comments attributed to well-known U.S. politicians, their spouses, and their aides.

Ferguson, Mo. Police Chief's Wife Didn't Make Racist Comments
Racist Facebook comments have been falsely attributed to the wife of Ferguson, Mo. police chief Thomas Jackson.

General Giap on How U.S. Lost the Vietnam War
Bogus passage allegedly penned by former North Vietnam General Vo Nguyen Giap attributes U.S. loss of the Vietnam War to homefront disruption caused by biased media.

George Carlin: Bad American?
This politically incorrect email rant is attributed to famed comedian George Carlin. Some parts sound like him, but did he really write it?

George Carlin's Hurricane Rules
A sarcastic rant purportedly authored by comedian George Carlin (or New Orleans musician Bill Boudreux, depending on version) outlining "rules" for coping in the aftermath of a hurricane.

George Carlin's Solution to Save Gasoline
Statement falsely attributed to comedian George Carlin says the best way to cut down on gasoline consumption in the U.S. is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants

Good Luck, Mr. Gorsky
Did Neil Armstrong's moon landing speech contain a secret naughty reference?

Gorsky Revisited: 'Are You SURE It Was a Hoax?'
A reader writes: 'I absolutely recall hearing these comments on the radio, in 1995, as told by Armstrong following the press conference. Either what I heard was an audio hoax, he was just kidding, or it is the truth. Are you SURE it was a hoax?'

G.W. Bush Quote: How 'Too Much Education' Affects Voting Preferences
Attributed to G.W. Bush: "As people do better, they start voting like Republicans, unless they have too much education. Then they vote Democratic, which proves that there can be too much of a good thing. After all, it is easier to govern sheep because they don't have to think."

Hillary vs. Arnold
Did Hillary Clinton and Arnold Schwarzenegger exchange insulting witticisms during a chance encounter at a party?

Hugh Downs: Obama Will Lose
Circulating online, an op-ed piece falsely attributed to Hugh Downs predicts Barack Obama will lose the 2008 presidential election because he is a "flake."

'I'm 76 and I'm Tired' by Bill Cosby
A viral rant attributed to Bill Cosby complaining of lazy poor people, Muslims, programs that help drug addicts, believers in global warming, and "the world these people made."

Hunter Thompson: 'Where Thieves and Pimps Run Free...'
In which we attempt to nail down the origin of a quote attributed to Gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson and ascertain which of the many versions - if any - is authentic.

'I'm Tired' by Robert A. Hall
Forwarded text attributed to U.S. Marine Corps veteran and former Massachusetts state senator Robert A. Hall condemns the ideas and policies of President Obama and the 'latte liberals' who voted for him.

Janet Reno Defines 'Cultist'
Did Janet Reno suggest on national TV that virtually all practicing Christians are cultists?

JFK: 'I am a Jelly Donut'
Was John F. Kennedy's 1963 "Ich bin ein Berliner" comment a linguistic flub?

Jay Leno Hits the Nail on the Head
Emailed article attributed to Tonight Show host Jay Leno calls the majority of Americans 'ungrateful, spoiled brats' for indicating in polls they're unhappy with the direction the country is headed in

Joe Lieberman: Open Letter to the French People
This letter, circulating in the form of an email chain letter since May 2002, excoriates France for being soft on anti-Semitism. Did Senator Joe Lieberman really write it?

Julius Caesar: 'Beware the Leader Who Bangs the Drums of War...'
Caesar didn't say it, Shakespeare didn't write it, but everyone's quoting it: 'Beware the leader who bangs the drums of war in order to whip the citizenry into a patriotic fervor, for patriotism is indeed a double-edged sword...'

'Joys of Muslim Women' by Nonie Darwish
Forwarded article attributed to Egyptian-born Christian convert Nonie Darwish warns that radical Islamists aim to destroy western civilization by imposing Sharia law on the entire world.

Kanye West: 'I Am the Next Nelson Mandela'
Viral "news story" from the Daily Currant quotes rap singer Kanye West as saying, "I am the next Nelson Mandela."

Marie Antoinette: 'Let Them Eat Cake'
Say what you will about her, Marie Antoinette never uttered the words 'Let them eat cake.'

Lee Iacocca Speaks Out on Obama
Forwarded text attributed to former Chrysler chairman Lee Iacocca says the only way to save America is to "Throw all the Democrats out along with Obama!"

Michele Bachmann: 'English Was Good Enough for Jesus'
Viral quote attributed to Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota: "If English was good enough for Jesus when he wrote the Bible it should be good enough for Coke."

Michael Richards' Self Defense
Circulating via email, a racist rant purportedly delivered by actor/comedian Michael Richards as his 'defense speech in court' for shouting racial epithets at black audience members during a 2006 incident at an L.A. comedy club

Monica Lewinsky Explains Post-Clinton Weight Loss
Here's what the former White House intern purportedly said on Larry King Live... and evidence that she didn't.

Morgan Freeman on Connecticut School Shootings
Facebook comments blaming the "sensationalist media" for the Dec. 14, 2012 mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut are falsely attributed to actor Morgan Freeman.

Mr. Rogers: 'Look for the Helpers'
Authentic: A viral quote that commonly circulates in the wake of tragic public events is attributed to kids' show host Fred Rogers.

Neal Boortz 'Commencement Speech'
Text of purported commencement speech delivered to students at Texas A&M University by radio talk show host Neal Boortz.

Did Nostradamus Predict a 2006 World Cup Win for Spain?
Did 16th-century astrologer Nostradamus pen a quatrain predicting that Spain would win the World Cup in 2006?

A list of alleged 'Olympic Bloopers' or 'Sports Bloopers' - verbal gaffes...
A list of alleged 'Olympic Bloopers' or 'Sports Bloopers' - verbal gaffes supposedly committed by TV sportscasters during the most recent Olympic Games.

Paul Harvey on Prayer
Emailed essay attributed to Paul Harvey defends Christian prayers at public events: "I don't think a short prayer at a football game is going to shake the world's foundations."

Quiz: Who Said It?
Circulating via forwarded email, this brief quiz consists of hilarious verbal gaffes attributed to several different U.S. politicians including President Barack Obama.

R. Lee Ermey Press Conference
Forwarded email purports to quote an actual 2004 press conference in which "Full Metal Jacket" actor and Marine veteran R. Lee Ermey takes the media to task in a profanity-laden diatribe.

Rick Santorum: 'I Will Ban Gay Pornography'
Viral quote attributed to Republican presidential primary candidate Rick Santorum says he will ban gay pornography, the only issue he sees "eye to eye on with the Taliban."

Ronald Reagan: Grace Under the Scalpel
"I hope you're all Republicans," said the president to the surgeons.  Or did he?

Robin Williams' Plan for Peace
Sarcastic "peace plan" circulating by email since March 2003 is falsely attributed to comedian Robin Williams.

Sarah Palin Quotes
Circulating via email, a series of preposterous quotes attributed to Repubican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin on the subjects of evolution, oil drilling in ANWR, and Alaskans serving in the military in Iraq.

Sarah Palin: 'Thanksgiving Is for Real Americans'
Satirical article quotes Sarah Palin as saying during a TV interview, "Thanksgiving is for real Americans not Indians. We founded this Christian nation."

Scary Election Statistics
Forwarded email purports to analyze the results of the 2000 (or 2008) U.S. presidential elections in terms of the population density and murder rates of parts of the country that voted Democratic vs. Republican.

Sarah Palin Wonders If Flight 370 'Flew Directly To Heaven'
Satirical article quotes Sarah Palin suggesting that missing Malaysian Airlines Flight MH370 could be in heaven if it "accidentally flew too high and got stuck up there."

Stalin: 'It's Not the People Who Vote that Count; It's the People Who Count...
Did Soviet dictator Josef Stalin once say 'It's not the people who vote that count, it's the people who count the votes'?

Shakira's Anti-Israeli Slur
Did Latin American pop star Shakira really refer to Israelis as "pigs" during an MTV interview?

Sunscreen Spill on the Misinformation Superhighway
The commencement address that Kurt Vonnegut never gave...

Theodore Roosevelt on Immigrants
Authentic but erroneously dated quotation in which Theodore Roosevelt insists that every immigrant must become 'an American, and nothing but an American,' forsaking their native language for English and all other flags for the American flag.

Thomas Sowell on the Presidential Candidates
Bigoted, poorly written email rant attributed to conservative black columnist Thomas Sowell trashes Democratic presidential candidates Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

Why English Teachers Die Young
A compilation of fractured similes and metaphors allegedly found in high school essays by English teachers from across the U.S.

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