The Curse of Frankenchicken

(Originally published January 1, 2000)

The Net rumor du jour, a forwarded email bluntly headed "Boycott KFC," urges us to think twice before buying a meal at KFC restaurants lest we end up consuming a product shockingly different from what we've been led to expect. Said product may look like fried chicken and taste like fried chicken — and it is fried, thank God — but it isn't chicken, the email claims. It is, in fact, a "genetically manipulated organism" so far removed from the real animal that KFC is legally forbidden to call it chicken. This is precisely the reason, supposedly, that Kentucky Fried Chicken, Inc. foreshortened its brand name to an acronym several years back.

Executives at KFC headquarters are aghast at the idea that anyone would take this seriously. When I asked Michael Tierney, KFC's director of public affairs, if there's any truth whatsoever to the allegations, he snapped back: "Of course not. Any thinking adult would know it's absolutely absurd."

Well, all right. But, for the sake of perspective, we are talking about the Internet, where just last year tens of thousands of credulous users besieged Honda's corporate Website with inquiries about a baseless email promising free automobiles to frequent forwarders. There is a lesson in this for Mr. Tierney, I believe.

'Chicken that isn't chicken'

Colette Janson-Sand, Associate Professor of Nutrition at the University of New Hampshire (where research proving the artificiality of KFC's products was allegedly conducted), says her department has fielded a flock of phone calls about the "chicken that isn't chicken" rumor, a few of which she described as "hysterical." The University wasted no time publishing a rebuttal on its Web site.

Back at KFC, Tierney was quick to point out (and it is easily verified) that although the company dumped its "Kentucky Fried Chicken" brand over a decade ago to emphasize product variety, it still uses the "forbidden" word ubiquitously in its advertising and in-store signage. Remember the recent TV commercial jingle, "We Do Chicken Right!"? That was KFC. The company's Web site makes reference to chicken on virtually every page.

'Genetically manipulated organisms'

In spite of the fact that one of its two main allegations is so effortlessly disproven, the "mutant chicken" rumor as exemplified below continues to enjoy a phenomenal circulation (see following page for a six-legged variant):

Subject: Boycott KFC

KFC has been a part of our American traditions for many years. Many people, day in and day out, eat at KFC religiously. Do they really know what they are eating?

During a recent study of KFC done at the University of New Hampshire, they found some very upsetting facts. First of all, has anybody noticed that just recently the company has changed their name? Kentucky Fried Chicken has become KFC. Does anybody know why? We thought the real reason was because of the "FRIED" food issue. It's not. The reason why they call it KFC is because they can not use the word chicken anymore. Why? KFC does not use real chickens. They actually use genetically manipulated organisms.

These so called "chickens" are kept alive by tubes inserted into their bodies to pump blood and nutrients throughout their structure. They have no beaks, no feathers, and no feet. Their bone structure is dramatically shrunk to get more meat out of them. This is great for KFC because they do not have to pay so much for their production costs. There is no more plucking of the feathers or the removal of the beaks and feet.

The government has told them to change all of their menus so they do not say chicken anywhere. If you look closely you will notice this. Listen to their commercials, I guarantee you will not see or hear the word chicken. I find this matter to be very disturbing. I hope people will start to realize this and let other people know.

Please forward this message to as many people as you can. Together we make KFC start using real chicken again.