Urban legends can be as funny as the most hilarious jokes -- indeed, sometimes the distinction between the two types of folklore is blurry. Some of the funniest urban legends are, in fact, old or new jokes told convincingly enough to seem true. Does the distinction really matter? Maybe not. The important thing is, they make us laugh.
Our handpicked selection of the funniest urban legends going.
Does the "curiously strong" mint really enhance the pleasure of oral sex? This urban legend makes the case in very graphic fashion.
An atheist and his ACLU lawyer go before a judge to complain that while Christians have Christmas and Easter, and Jews have Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, there is no such holiday for atheists.
The deadly
arachnius gluteus from South America has migrated to the United States under airliner toilet seats. Five victims have lost their lives in Chicago alone!
Further proof that humor resides in other people's misfortunes.
Emailed photos show a rental townhouse in Ogden, Utah every room of which is piled high from floor to ceiling with empty beer cans.
POP goes the Pillsbury Dough Boy!
Email tale about a "very pleasant attendant" who, for 25 years running, showed up every day at Bristol Zoo and collected parking fees from visitors, then one day simply disappeared with all the cash. Turns out no one had ever actually hired a car park attendant for the zoo.
Man takes out fire insurance on rare cigars, smokes same, files claim.
Self-described "spectacularly beautiful" woman posts an online personals ad bluntly stating her wish to pair off with a marriageable "rich guy" in New York City. Wall Street banker responds, "Your offer ... is plain and simple a crappy business deal."
"Dihydrogen monoxide [otherwise known as water] is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year..."
Two robbers break into a bank expecting to steal diamonds and gold, but find what they believe to be a huge cache of vanilla pudding instead. Naturally, they decide to sample the merchandise.
As allegedly reported in a Florida newspaper, stupid burglars confuse woman's cremated remains for crack cocaine.
In case you needed it, proof that urine and electricity don't mix.
Tourists mistake a black celebrity in an elevator for a mugger.
Read this when you think
you're having a bad day.
Web page masquerading as a CNN/AP news story claims women can decrease their risk of breast cancer by "performing the act of fellatio on a regular basis."
Just visit this Website and fill out an online form to win a free promotional case of beer from Anheuser-Busch or Miller Brewing Co. (depending on which version of this prank message you receive).
In ancient England a person could not have sex unless they had the king's consent. When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got consent of the king, who gave them a placard to hang on their door which read "F.U.C.K."
'Last photo' supposedly taken by the seller of a digital camera shows a rampaging bull heading straight for the lens.
"I [G.W. Bush] am writing you in absolute confidence primarily to seek your assistance in acquiring oil funds that are presently trapped in the republic of Iraq...."
The rectal rodent was the
least of their worries...
Something Neil Armstrong never said when he first set foot on the surface of the moon has become a full-fledged legend over the years. Here's the email version.
Special alert from the FBI. Funded by the Chinese Communist Party, these dastardly criminals threaten American manhood!
Here's what happens when a couple takes "love is a masquerade" way too literally.
Japanese man suffers serious burns while belching blue fire in karaoke bar!
Can you find the hidden, insulting message in this epitaph inscribed on a tombstone located in a Montreal cemetery?
From the mailbag: "Dear Guide: Is it true that Jennifer Lopez insured her butt?"
Circulating via email: a photo purporting to show the headstone of famed lawyer Johnnie Cochran. The inscription reads: "O.J. DID IT."
Emailed "news item" claims a U.S. federal judge has ruled that due to the proliferation of "ridiculous names," poverty-stricken black women no longer have the right to christen their own children.
Having had a bit too much to drink, a group of tourists bump into a kangaroo with their car. Assuming they have killed it, they decide to pose for pictures...
An 84-year-old resident of the Safety Harbor Assisted Home for the Aged writes to administrators of the local middle school to thank them for the radio she won at a senior citizen's luncheon.
Not every "bathroom" has a toilet, as this newcomer to the lifestyle of the rich and famous discovers.
Another entry in the "odd things inserted in orifices" department. Caveat lector!
Actually, we think these photos of a "seriously pissed-off cat" just back from the groomer are real, but the accompanying story is too good to be true.
"Welcome to the National Driver's License Records Bureau Website," this site boasts, "where you can search our online database of over 220 million U.S. driver's license photos and driver's license information currently on file, absolutely FREE."
"Police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday..."
During a wedding ceremony at Clemson University, the groom interrupts the proceedings to reveal a shocking secret about the bride and the best man (Internet version of "The Bridegroom's Revenge").
'Actual' job application submitted to McDonald's by one Greg Bulmash in 1997. Or so the story goes...
Here's what the former White House intern purportedly said on Larry King Live... and evidence that she didn't.
Is the U.S. Treasury recalling the state quarters of Texas, Alabama, West Virginia and other states because they won't fit in parking meters and vending machines?
'Medical study' purportedly published in the New England Journal of Medicine claims research has shown that ogling women's breasts increases men's lifespans.
A list of alleged 'Olympic Bloopers' or 'Sports Bloopers' - verbal gaffes supposedly committed by TV sportscasters during the most recent Olympic Games.
Heartwarming tale of a talented young man who overcame his tragic christening to become a wealthy and famous TV personality.
A lesson in how
not to behave in a safari theme park.
Supposedly, both the expression "F--- you" and the obscene gesture commonly referred to in America as "the finger" originated with uppity British archers during the Hundred Years' War.
It was their first date... and, inevitably, their last.
For a Thanksgiving Day laugh, mom stuffs a roast turkey with a cornish game hen as a practical joke on her naive daughter.
The Smithsonian Institution responds to notification of an unusual find in a backyard archaeological dig - the two-million-year-old head of a Malibu Barbie Doll.
Arkansas woman mistakes the driver of a pickup truck for Jesus and dies while trying to ascend to heaven through the sun roof of her car.
During a state visit to England, President G.W. Bush goes on a fateful coach ride to Buckingham Palace with the Queen of England and a farting horse.
Gynecologist to woman: "Looks like we've got ourselves a party girl!"
Writer Leif 'Trials of a Gay-Seeming Straight Male' Ueland glosses the execrable Richard Gere gerbil-in-the-butt legend in his probing article for Nerve.com, 'Everything but the Gerbil'...
Net satire poking fun at the 2000 U.S. presidential election grew in the online telling...
In olden days -- or so we are told -- shippers stamped the acronym "S.H.I.T." (Ship High in Transit) on crates of cow manure to prevent them from from being stowed below deck and causing methane explosions.
Perhaps the most inventive use of an industrial staple gun you're ever likely to see. Grisly but true!
Female traffic violator tries to talk her way out of a citation by offering to buy tickets to the policeman's ball. 'I'm a state trooper, ma'am,' replies the officer. 'We don't have balls.'
Introducing the Stella Awards for the most frivolous lawsuits in the U.S., purportedly named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck, who was awarded damages for injuries sustained after spilling a cup of McDonald's coffee in her lap in 1994.
The amazing household adhesive best known as Superglue has many, many more uses (and abuses) than you ever imagined...
"IMPORTANT NOTE: If you send this email to at least 1,200 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will crap on you today at 7 p.m."
"Don't go to the bathroom on October 28th. CIA intelligence reports that a major plot is planned for that day. Anyone who takes a poop on the 28th will be bitten on the ass by an alligator."
A photo vignette circulating via email shows a tow truck tumbling into the sea while attempting to salvage another tow truck that met the same fate while salvaging a wrecked car.
Just as we always thought... the Internal Revenue Service is nothing but an elaborate criminal conspiracy to relieve ordinary citizens of their hard-earned cash.
A dozen or so homages to the most famous Christmas rhyme, compiled by your Guide (with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore).
"Dear American, I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude."
Forwarded email purports to share instructions from a U.S. government Peace Corp manual on what to do if an anaconda or python attacks you in the wild.
British shoppers, apparently. A supermarket chain is considering renaming the classic dessert in hopes of improving sales.
Forwarded email with an attached photo purporting to show the penis of a blue whale claims that the male of that species produces over 400 gallons of sperm in a single mating session. And you ask why the ocean is so salty?
